![]() Rating: Could barely fill half of a child's yarmulke. Luck was on his side financially, but his overall semen output was altogether dismal, even for a Jew. Normally, the only sperm bank he could afford was the generic brand packaged next to the ritzy Kleenex model in CVS, but Goldstein just picked up his first summer paycheck from the Americana roast beef eatery. Brucie Goldsteinīrucie Goldstein likes to brag about having Type-O sperm, but the universal donor was unable to find a willing recipient until he tripped over the cum dumpster one day behind Arby's. ![]() Rating: Jenny didn't want her nickel back. The dumping of cum was unimpressive and, at best, merely adequate for the lead singer of Nickelback, it was the kind of self-validation necessary to fuel another 3 albums of misogynistic cock-rock. While most people have standards and would never listen to Nickelback, let alone fuck their lead singer, Jenny had no such qualms, given that she is not a person and just an obese disposal unit for (mostly) human reproductive fluids. Some excerpts are given below:Ĭhad Kroeger, of Nickelback fame, met the cum dumpster after a concert while looking for a place to stick his dick in, as per his usual post-concert ritual. Most of Jenny's clients, in particular powerful foreigners and politicians, are protected by strict confidentiality contracts and firearms, but a little cum dumpster diving performed in May 2011 has revealed a lengthy, extraordinary list of dignitaries accrued over the years. When one is a fully operable sperm bank since the age of 8, it's expected that one meets its fair share of notable donors over the years. NUR NUR NURNUR PHOTOGRAPH / HUNGERDUNGER DURNUR MAKES ME LAUGH She functions as Patient Zero for a study conducted by Yale University on the reproductive rates of chylamidius leprosyum, a rare flesh-eating STI that calls Jenny its home. ![]() Veritably, she is an almost literal aquarium of bacterial growth, and a constant object of scrutiny in the scientific community. The Jenny currently boasts thirty-six different life forms living within her frame, a record high which occasionally jumps to 37 when wire hangers are in short supply. Unfortunately, her suctioning apparatus was spread awfully thin due to the addition of so many extra points, frequently resulting in awkward seepage from strange places at inopportune moments. The Jenny, however, has an impressive eleven points of entry for incoming sperm, putting her heads and shoulders above competing cum dumpster models, such as the Tina or Becky. After a lavish remodeling of three-inch booty shorts, nine inch heels, and a comically oversized lollipop, Jenny was fully converted into a for-profit truck stop sperm bank.Īny self-respecting cum dumpster has three points of entry: a tube on the top, and two holes on the front and back of the chassis all points are suction powered to prevent spillage. With a keen eye for business, Jenny's inventors encouraged the exploitation of her talents in a larger market. Many customers began complaining that Jenny displayed the signs of multiple viruses during use however, these illnesses are paradoxically seen as a sign of excellence in the cum dumpster industry, and the Jenny saw levels of activity previously unrecorded in cum dumpster history. This, coupled with the installation of customer-titillating "Boob" modules, improved efficiency remarkably at the cost of quality control. In short time, Jenny began accepting an average of five donations a day from no less than three different sources. Much like her parents, though, the concept of monogamy was too much to handle for more than a week at a time. Jenny was initially founded upon a single-server approach, collecting multiple donations a day from individual users separately. Jenny's secret? Each fold of fat holds over 25 liters.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |